What will it change if we're engaged or married?

G knows that I'm ready to be engaged, to be married, and to be a mommy. He also knows that it's important to me. Regardless of the fact that he knows it's important to me, he begs the question "What will being engaged/married change?"

The simple answer is, nothing. Being engaged to be married or being married is not going to change our relationship, our relations with one another, or the dynamics of our relationship. The real question is, "What does it mean to one another?"

For me, being engaged and married are both extremely important parts of a long-term relationship to me. I've expressed to G that I would be happy eloping, but I'd much rather be engaged for a period of time before actually getting married. As a woman, I would like to enjoy that time of "being engaged." I won't say that is what all women want, but that is what I want, and that's what's important to me. I want to be his special someone with a ring on my finger to show the world "I have a fiance and I GET to marry him!"

As far as marriage goes, that is important to me as well. While I'm not obsessively religious, I would like to say that I'm "Christian." I believe in God. I believe in Heaven and Hell. And I know that I'm a sinner! HELLO WORLD, I AM A SINNER. In my beliefs, as corny as it sounds, I want G to make an honest woman of me. It is important to me to not continue to live my life in sin. It's important to me to make those vows before my family and more importantly, before God. Secondly, being married is an important commitment to me that I would make to G. Marriage means coming together, as husband and wife, and supporting one another in life's endeavors. It means support, commitment, understanding, forgiveness, sympathy, empathy, and LOVE! It's committing to sharing your lives with one another, the good and the bad. It's being one another's family. It's a life-long commitment to love and respect one another. It's helping one another grow. It's helping one another learn. It's SO many things to me, I can't continue to write them here without sounding like a complete freak!

My dad highlighted this in my bible years ago. Many people know this passage, but it's something that I want to honor and live by.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I may be repeating myself, but what will change when G and I are engaged and married? It will mean that although being engaged and married may not mean the same things to him as they do to me, it will show me that I am important enough and my feelings are important enough for him to want the same things as well.


Kristan April 14, 2009 at 3:41 PM  

So my question is, what does he have against engagement/marriage?

Sandi April 14, 2009 at 3:44 PM  

I love that you write to him in this blog! Thanks for sharing your views

When Brandon and I were living together, the thing that always weighed heavy on my mind was the fact that in an emergency, hospital stay, or death, he would have no say on what I needed or wanted. That terrified me. Come on G ask her to marry you already!

Taralyn April 15, 2009 at 10:10 AM  

What's the hold up?