Obama said "special olympics."

“No, no, I have been practicing... I bowled a 129. It’s like - it was like the Special Olympics, or something.”

The first thing I have to say is, people make mistakes. President Obama, although he is our president, is a person, a human being, and people make mistakes!

Now I understand that there are some things that we say at home, or around those we are comfortable with, that we wouldn't say in the company of others. And while those words slipped between his teeth too easily, I honestly don't think he meant any harm by what he said.

I know that there are going to be a lot of people, groups, and organizations that take offense to what President Obama said. The sad part about all of it is while he has (or the White House) has issued a formal apology, I have no doubt that said offended groups and organizations are going to look to benefit from President Obama's mistake. I can't say how they will proceed in the next couple of days or weeks, but normally when something like this happens, those offended will try and take advantage of the situation, which doesn't make what they're doing any better than what he did.

While I'm still on my tangent here, I want to question what the President was doing on a late-night talk show. I do understand that President Obama is trying to be the President that's "one of us," but I still think that he should be held to a higher standard and shouldn't be on shows like The Jay Leno Show. I wouldn't mind reading an article or interview in a magazine about him, with a picture of him enjoying a beer in the White House "living room," but I wouldn't want to see a picture of him sitting first row at a basketball game, beer in hand. Does that make any sense?

I feel like I'm getting off topic and I only have one more thing to say: If that's the worst the he does in scheme of all the things he does as our President, well, I think he should be forgiven.

Frustrated.

When I drive to the bus stop in the morning (it takes me 10-12 minutes), I leave the radio off and enjoy the silence.

When I'm on the bus, I'll put my earphones in and listen to some music on my iPod and while I try to still block out the world at 6:18am, I still have a million thoughts running though my mind.

Unfortunately, when I get to work, I must automatically go into work mode. I can't remember what I wanted to Google when I got here or what I wanted to blog about.

It's really quite frustrating, because after spending all day on the computer and phone at work, the last thing I will do when I get home in the afternoon is jump back on the computer to blog.

As of right now, I can only think of one thing I was thinking about this morning. After parking my car and while I was walking to the bus, I noticed that it smelled like there was some moisture in the air. I noticed it when I got downtown too and was walking to work. Today it smelled like it had just rained... which is weird because Spring officially starts tomorrow (what?!?) and I'm waiting for my April showers... of snow that is. It has been incredibly dry here, even in the mountains. No where in the area has anyone had enough snow/precipitation for the Winter. My skin is complaining with every shower I take that washes away that little bit of oil it's able to produce.

While I still want snow, snow, and more snow so that I can get some more riding in before the ski season is officially over, my skin is begging for my humidity!

I guess that's one thing that I got used to living in the south. The humidity could get so bad during the Spring and Summer months, but my skin loved it! Everyone had a nice glow and I miss it!

Oh yeah, I've lost a little bit of weight. I tried on my old snowboarding pants (last time they fit was 4.20.2004) and my ass no longer looks like two sausages shoved into one sausage casing! Yay! For the sake of my sanity, I'm not measuring myself or weighing myself, I'm simply going by the way my clothes fit and seeing how long it will take me to get into my size 8's and hopefully 6's. I'm really hoping by May (G's 30th birthday to be exact) that I'll be a 6, but I think that's pushing my luck!

[I also added some more "skinny" or motivational pictures to my last entry. The last picture is where I'd like to get back to.]

The Hot Chick

I have never been "the hot chick."

I don't have a great body, I've always been "soft," and I have ZERO boobage.

Sometimes I have a mustache if it's not waxed, and if I wax, I get fricken' zits. I can't win.

The only times in my life I've even been close to being "the hot chick," were times when I looked like this:




And this has happened maybe three times in my life and it's always been a struggle.

Those three times were:
1.) High School - and who doesn't look better when they're 18?!
2.) When I was 23 and did the Atkins Diet. Yes, it worked wonders, but you can't keep up a high-fat, low-carb diet your whole life. Can we all say hello to heart disease and high cholesterol?!
3.) When I was doing "bootcamp" at East Shore Athletic Club three days a week, from 6-7am... plus running and other misc. aerobic classes on my "off" days... AND I was eating close to nothing. (That is what produced the picture above.)

Even in that picture, I weighed about 140.

I'm 5'7" and currently weigh... 170. Yeah, I'm a fatty, and I can't explain how extremely hard it is for me to lose weight. The worst part is, I'm not small boned and I'm fairly muscular. It should be easier for me to lose weight with more muscle, but alas, no.

What makes it even harder is the fact that G is 6'6" and very athletic. While he does work out consistently (never any cardio, just weight lifting) he eats like shit! That boy I'm sure eats McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Chipotle and every other shit food under ths sun behind my back while he's at work and doesn't gain an ounce. And then when he's at home he wants pizza, or mac-n-cheese, or some other God-awful bad-for-you food, which of course, doesn't help me or support me.

Sure, I could eat Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones every night for dinner, but I take him into consideration and try to cook for both of us. It doesn't help either that he is incredibly picky when it comes to food, especially if it's healthy.

I don't know what to do. I'm trying to work out more. I'm taking ephedrine to curb my appetitite (no worries I'm not going overboard), and while it's working... I don't think I'll ever be what I want to be, let alone what G wants me to be.

We've made the agreement that if I get down to my "goal weight," which would be around 140-145, he will pay for a breast augmentation for me... which again, don't worry, I've thought about this one for a long time too. (Having A's or and A and a Double A isn't cool when you're my size!)

I'm just tired of having low self-esteem and being the F.U.F. (fat ugly friend).

Gah.

St. Paddy's Day

Guh, I hate looking at Facebook status updates because there are too many people saying "Happy St. Patty's Day" or "St. Patties Day."

Patrick = Paddy.
Patricia = Patty.

And patties is like hamburger patties, not a possessive for a person!

I know it's retarded and that I have my fair share of typos and run on sentences, but there, they're and their are different. Its and it's are different. Fare and fair are different! To, two, and too are different. Pay attention people! Most of you only speak one language and you're lucky that in the English language nouns aren't feminine or masculine!!!

Note to self:

Don't play with a bottle of Bic Wite-Out, pulling the wand in and out of the bottle, and then brush your nose.

If you do, you'll look like a Wite-Out sniffer because you have it on the tip of your nose.

Whoops!

Almost a year.

I can't believe that it's been almost a year since G and I moved to Colorado.

A year and a couple days ago, G flew out to Denver to interview for his job with Denver Health. The next day, he got the news that he had the job and told me over the phone "well, guess we're moving to Colorado!"

After that, it was a whirlwind. G flew home and then a couple weeks later, from April 12th - 19th we spent time on vacation in Kauai. Upon returning, I was let go from my job for blogging about a co-worker and our shitty employer. (Yeah, if I've learned one thing... don't let people know your name or who you work for, and if you do, don't bad mouth them online where they can find it!) So I spent the end of April and all of May preparing for our move. (I had accepted my job offer while on vacation in Kauai!!!)

The last week of May, we moved!

While I don't miss Charleston, SC, the racism, the confederate flag being flown, proud "natives," hypocracy, ignorance, and the overall unwelcoming attitude of a majority of South Carolinians (yes, "Southern hospitality" does NOT exist there, except for the fakers), I do miss the people we befriended as well as a couple other things:

The view from our old apartment
The beach
The gorgeous sunsets
Thunderstorms and crazy weather
Shem Creek
Frogs! I love frogs!
The Cooper River Bridge Run (which I would love to attend this year, but don't have money for an airplane ticket... boo.)
Fishing... with G all the time. (And this pic is four years old, so lay off of my GAP overalls!)
Backyard BBQs with friends. (This is our friend Tim jumping onto a Slip-n-Slide. We're big kids!)
(I might mention that G took all of these pictures and one of his photos is being used in the next edition of Charleston Magazine!)

TGIF

I am so glad it's Friday.

Tonight G and I are going to see Watchmen at the IMAX theatre (local AMC). Movies are our thing... and I think we see a movie every 1-2 weeks! I think the movie looks good and I'm excited to see it. I hate that I've already heard reviews of people not liking it. People are too overly critical about movies and it drives me crazy!

E flew to Seattle this morning after booking a flight last night. KK, who flew to Denver last Wednesday and was at the cabin last weekend with us, invited him to go to to Whistler to spend the week with her and her family. E has know her for about a month and a couple weeks now... but he wanted to go. I guess I can't judge him, seeing that I decided to move with G from California to South Carolina after I knew him for three weeks. (That's a whole other post...)

What does this mean for me?

I have the whole flippen' house to myself all weekend. G has to work during the days on Saturday and Sunday and I think K does too. Either way, I am hoping for a quite weekend where I can do my thing without having to work around, move around, talk around another human being. I talk on the phone for eight hours a day... and frankly, I don't care if I go from the time I wake up on Saturday until I see G in the afternoon without talking. Well, I talk to the dogs, but that doesn't really count as carrying on a conversation.

On a random side note - I am ready to have children. G needs to hurry up and be ready... my bilogical clock is ticking and I'm sooooo ready.

Two days ago, I officially entered into the world of Lexapro again.

When I was younger, I didn't like strangers. I didn't like things to be different. I didn't like change. If my food was wrong from McDonald's, I just sucked it up and took it. I wouldn't even ask for a packet of ketchup. If I was on my way to meet friends, I would sweat like crazy and I couldn't help it. If G made plans to go out on a Friday night with our friends, I would find an excuse prior to leaving the house so that I didn't have to go. I'd blame it on my hair or the way my clothes were fitting and go berzerk! Little did I know that it would be considered generalized/social anxiety. Really? Me? Is that why I hate talking on the phone to a.n.y.o.n.e? Is that why most people thought I was a bitch in high school, when in all reality, I just couldn't function like a normal person due to a chemical imbalance?

Back in 2007 I decided it was time to go to the doctor and ask for help. She gave me Lexapro and Xanax. Lexapro was a daily things, the Xanax was for when I felt out of control and felt I "needed it." The doctor I saw didn't want me to be on this medication forever, so she told me that she wanted me to "learn" from the way I felt and remember how I should react of feel towards a situation or event. I thought she was an idiot though. My problem stems from a chemical imbalance. As much as I think I'd be okay without the medicine or as much as I'd like to react differently, I can't change the chemicals my body produces or uses!

So I kept taking my meds through June of '08, when we moved to CO. Shortly after moving here I ran out of my Lexapro and my birth control. Dun, dun, dunnnnnn. Yeah, it wasn't such a great thing having not only a chemical imbalance, but then a hormonal one!

G has expressed his desire for me to go back on Lexapro since we moved here. While I know I'm moody without Lex, G has his own demons that he needs to face and would probably be better off on some sort of mood stabelizer as well... He would disagree though... there is nothing wrong in the book of G.F.M! Anyway - I don't think he recalls how I reacted to taking Lex. It made me an emotionless, reactionless, zombie. When I started taking it in 2007 he told me that he missed the old me (well, the non-angry, volitile me). He could've have screamed at me and called me every name in the book and his only reaction from me would've been a couple blinks.

Here we are, day number two... and I'm not there yet. I worry I will be soon though. And then G will see, again, how much he liked me on Lex. He will have to decide what he likes more or less. I like being on Lex, besides the price. It's nice not having things bother you and frankly, not giving a shit about anything!

I also went to the dentist and got my teeth cleaned. No cavities for moi! :D And I get to go back in a week and pick up my bleaching trays! Yay for white teeth!

T.M.I.

I don't know what's up with my dog, Bailey.

When he was a puppy, it maybe happened twice, he pooped in his crate, ate it to hide it, and then managed to throw up liquid poop and step in/lie in it.

For some reason, since we moved into our house in December, he's managed to do this five or six times now. I don't know what's going on! What's even weirder, is that it never happens when I'm home or when G's home.

G's sister, K, always ends up cleaning it up because it always happens after she leaves the house and comes home.

So that leads me to the conclusion that she's not making sure he shits when she lets him out?

I don't know what else to think.

The other day E's cousin S picked him up to head to Ft. Collins, so E left his truck at the house. G and I left for work in the morning. K decided to assume that E was at the house since his truck was there and left all three dogs out (they're all normally crated while no one is home). I had a dentist appointment so I ran home to brush my teeth after work. Guess what I came home to? A pile of shit on the carpet in the living room and E in the shower... At first I thought, Bailey must have just gone while E was in the bathroom. Nope. I pick it up and it's cold. Nice, E... very nice. Leave shit on the floor. I swear you couldn't miss the thing!

So I don't get it... Bailey craps in his crate every time K crates them when she leaves the house. We've told her to take the time, to watch them (also because he dumb dog digs in our fricken' grass!) to make sure Bailey actually poops. He's not a speed-crapper like Hurley. He's a hound and he sniffs, and sniffs, and sniffs... and you have to sit there and tell him to "GO POTTY!" It's so annoying, but totally necessary.

I'm tired of the basement smelling like crap and having to give Bailey a bath once a week.

Gah!

I just wrote a whole post about dog poop. Joy.

I am busy, busy, busy at work and don't have any time to update...

to top it off, the last thing I want to do when I get home is get back on the computer...

This week has cause me to feel like I want to pull my hair out, BUT I started taking my Lexapro again last night, so maybe I'll become the complacent, emotionless zombie G wants me to be again...
maybe work and life and general shit won't seem like such a big deal to me anymore.

Maybe this weekend I'll find the time to post?