Smoking.

Can I tell you how much smoking and (most) smokers disgust me?

IT DRIVES ME FREAKIN' BAT SHIT CRAZY.

1. Cigarette smoke stinks.
2. I don't like smelling like your stink-stick if you're standing in close proximity to me.
3. I don't like breathing in your second-hand smoke because you're walking in front of me.
4. I don't like breathing in your second-hand smoke out on a patio because you think it's too much of an inconvenience to you to walk away from everyone else because you need your "fix" every 10 minutes.
5. I hate the fact that smokers think they should be able to smoke in a public establishment (restaurant, bar etc) because us non-smokers have the choice to stay away from public places. Last I checked, you're the one with the habit, so you should be the one that changes your actions... not make the rest of us suffer.
   
6. I don't like it when my car pulls in your cigarette smoke though my because you're smoking in your car in front of me.
7. I don't like watching you smoke in your car and throw your friggen lit cigarette butt out the car window into the street. If it's your fucking cigarette, put it out in your own fucking car, and throw it away when you can find a trash can!
8. I don't like watching you toss your cigarette butt on the ground when you're walking, stomp it out (or not) with your foot, and leave it there. It may be small, but you're still a littering lazy ass.
9. I can tell you're a smoker because your skin is dull and looks like shit. Exfoliate all you want my dears, you still like drab.
10. I can tell you're a smoker because you have the sweet smoker lines aka smoker lips! YUM!
11. I can also tell if you're a smoker at a restaurant because I watch you douse your food in salt. Yes, I realize that you probably can't taste much when your mouth tastes like an ashtray.

I have many, many more pet peeves that come along with smoking, but those are the few that have been driving me crazy lately.

If you're a smoker, have fun when you get this... because I will not feel bad in the least bit for you.

Edit: I took the pictures down because I didn't want to be a complete asshole!

St. Paddy's Day

Guh, I hate looking at Facebook status updates because there are too many people saying "Happy St. Patty's Day" or "St. Patties Day."

Patrick = Paddy.
Patricia = Patty.

And patties is like hamburger patties, not a possessive for a person!

I know it's retarded and that I have my fair share of typos and run on sentences, but there, they're and their are different. Its and it's are different. Fare and fair are different! To, two, and too are different. Pay attention people! Most of you only speak one language and you're lucky that in the English language nouns aren't feminine or masculine!!!

My pet peeves as a SSR.

1.) Interrupting me while I'm answering the phone. What you have to say is NOT so damn important that you need to be rude.
2.) Talking over me or interrupting me. If you don't take the time to shut-the-hell-up, I can't help you, or won't try very hard.
3.) "Oh," is a letter. Zero is a number. Get it right, there is a difference.
4.) AR-TI-CU-LATE. I'll take a chance and bet a million dollars that your mouth is neither filled with marbles or marshmallows, stop mumbling you babbling idiot.
5.) Leaving off plurals. I know you may have grown up in the south, but $5.42 is said "five dollars and forty two cents," and not, "five dollar forty two cent." I bet you also thought 40 was spelled f-o-u-r-t-y.
6.) Thinking that I remember you. Just because I took your call last week and you had some all-life-ending problem, doesn't mean I remember you or want to remember you. I take 50 calls a day. Multiply that by the five days that have passed since I talked to you. Do you think I remember you and your problem 250 calls later? I. DON'T. THINK. SO!
7.) Blaming me for: the U.S. Postal Service losing your mail en route to us, you sending your paperwork to the wrong address, your redemption being delayed because you forgot to sign the signature authorization page and send it in, because anything is delayed because you did something wrong and didn't return my phone call to you to correct it, your automatic investment plan being closed down because you didn't have enough money in your checking account, the fact that you need a Medallion Signature Guarantee on your paperwork (I don't make the rules!), pretty much blaming me for anything stupid you may have done and don't want to accept responsibility for.
8.) Calling and placing me on hold. It is not my job to sit around and wait for you to 1.) talk to your dog, 2.) answer your cell phone, 3.) take another call at work, 4.) yell at your children etc.
9.) Investing your money in something you can lose principle on and you don't even know what you're invested in. Seriously, just give me your money. You're clearly better off giving it to me or throwing it away. You'd make more money playing the lottery at the rate you're going. "What do you mean my account is not F.D.I.C. insured?" **rolls eyes**
10.) Talking... talking... talking... and continuing to tell me your loooong, drawn out story about how you can't figure out how to sign up for online account access etc. First off, I already know what you're doing wrong. And two, if you read and followed the instructions and looked at the picture (yes, a picture) you wouldn't have to call me.