What will it change if we're engaged or married?

G knows that I'm ready to be engaged, to be married, and to be a mommy. He also knows that it's important to me. Regardless of the fact that he knows it's important to me, he begs the question "What will being engaged/married change?"

The simple answer is, nothing. Being engaged to be married or being married is not going to change our relationship, our relations with one another, or the dynamics of our relationship. The real question is, "What does it mean to one another?"

For me, being engaged and married are both extremely important parts of a long-term relationship to me. I've expressed to G that I would be happy eloping, but I'd much rather be engaged for a period of time before actually getting married. As a woman, I would like to enjoy that time of "being engaged." I won't say that is what all women want, but that is what I want, and that's what's important to me. I want to be his special someone with a ring on my finger to show the world "I have a fiance and I GET to marry him!"

As far as marriage goes, that is important to me as well. While I'm not obsessively religious, I would like to say that I'm "Christian." I believe in God. I believe in Heaven and Hell. And I know that I'm a sinner! HELLO WORLD, I AM A SINNER. In my beliefs, as corny as it sounds, I want G to make an honest woman of me. It is important to me to not continue to live my life in sin. It's important to me to make those vows before my family and more importantly, before God. Secondly, being married is an important commitment to me that I would make to G. Marriage means coming together, as husband and wife, and supporting one another in life's endeavors. It means support, commitment, understanding, forgiveness, sympathy, empathy, and LOVE! It's committing to sharing your lives with one another, the good and the bad. It's being one another's family. It's a life-long commitment to love and respect one another. It's helping one another grow. It's helping one another learn. It's SO many things to me, I can't continue to write them here without sounding like a complete freak!

My dad highlighted this in my bible years ago. Many people know this passage, but it's something that I want to honor and live by.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I may be repeating myself, but what will change when G and I are engaged and married? It will mean that although being engaged and married may not mean the same things to him as they do to me, it will show me that I am important enough and my feelings are important enough for him to want the same things as well.

Frustrated.

When I drive to the bus stop in the morning (it takes me 10-12 minutes), I leave the radio off and enjoy the silence.

When I'm on the bus, I'll put my earphones in and listen to some music on my iPod and while I try to still block out the world at 6:18am, I still have a million thoughts running though my mind.

Unfortunately, when I get to work, I must automatically go into work mode. I can't remember what I wanted to Google when I got here or what I wanted to blog about.

It's really quite frustrating, because after spending all day on the computer and phone at work, the last thing I will do when I get home in the afternoon is jump back on the computer to blog.

As of right now, I can only think of one thing I was thinking about this morning. After parking my car and while I was walking to the bus, I noticed that it smelled like there was some moisture in the air. I noticed it when I got downtown too and was walking to work. Today it smelled like it had just rained... which is weird because Spring officially starts tomorrow (what?!?) and I'm waiting for my April showers... of snow that is. It has been incredibly dry here, even in the mountains. No where in the area has anyone had enough snow/precipitation for the Winter. My skin is complaining with every shower I take that washes away that little bit of oil it's able to produce.

While I still want snow, snow, and more snow so that I can get some more riding in before the ski season is officially over, my skin is begging for my humidity!

I guess that's one thing that I got used to living in the south. The humidity could get so bad during the Spring and Summer months, but my skin loved it! Everyone had a nice glow and I miss it!

Oh yeah, I've lost a little bit of weight. I tried on my old snowboarding pants (last time they fit was 4.20.2004) and my ass no longer looks like two sausages shoved into one sausage casing! Yay! For the sake of my sanity, I'm not measuring myself or weighing myself, I'm simply going by the way my clothes fit and seeing how long it will take me to get into my size 8's and hopefully 6's. I'm really hoping by May (G's 30th birthday to be exact) that I'll be a 6, but I think that's pushing my luck!

[I also added some more "skinny" or motivational pictures to my last entry. The last picture is where I'd like to get back to.]

Today's random post.

Last month I was the employee (out of five of us total) took the most phone calls last month. I took 1025 calls in the month of November. C.O., who is on the other call team (and they think they're super busy because of a certain fund they have) had a little over 500. It's no wonder I feel like I'm going crazy! C.O. made the point that he was gone four days, to which I replied, so you would have had to answer 125 more calls per day you were gone to catch up to me. He didn't have anything to say. HA, in your face B Team! Well, not really, because I don't want so many calls.

Tomorrow MFG and I are going furniture shopping in the morning! So far, I've found a new kitchen table that I want. Unfortunately, while we have a formal living room, we do not have a formal dining room. Also, our table, which I love, only seats four. So here's my non-formal solution:

The best part is it's solid wood and it's $719! What a steal. We'll see if MFG goes for it.

We are having our LCD (a whole 52") mounted and having the wiring run for our new surrond sound system that MFG dropped a pretty penny on. So, we're looking for a console to go under the TV to "ground" it. Here's what I've found so far:

$399


(Just the console) $399 as well!

In our family room we have a "cubby" next to the fireplace where the TV is "supposed" to go. We don't like that set up, and it won't work with our TV. See said cubby below in green:

So this is what I was thinkign we could put there, since our TV will be on the wall to the right of that.

The one on the left is $77 on the right is $59. Not bad huh? I can't choose. Suggestions?

This is what I'd like to put above the fire place:

We are also getting a new couch, preferably a sectional and leather, but we'll see. I'm a little weary of what the dogs claws can do to that! I am opting for a red couch, to give our family room a burst of color since the rest of the room will be very neutral.

What do you think of the items I have picked out?