Where to begin... holy shit.

I have been holding this in for months now.

Why?

I didn't want to "make waves," cause tension, or piss anybody off.

Well, all is said and done now, and I can say whatever the hell I wanna say. The person that I was tip-toeing around since October of 2008, is gone.

Let me preface this entire blog entry by saying that for the first time since G and I became homeowners December 10, 2008, we finally have the house to ourselves, IE.) we no longer have his sister Kate as a "room mate."

Why was Kate, G's 26 year-old sister, living with us?

Well shit, here we go. Years back, Kate was living in Chicago with her Nana and Papa, going to school, working part time, and doing her thing. She was also getting to know a young man in Sacramento, CA. Her Papa sold his company and she got a lot of money. I'll just say it was right over the six-figure mark. So, Kate packed up and moved to California to move in with said California boy.

In the course of a year, she had an unsuccessful relationship with this guy and he (so she says), managed to spend every bit of money she had received from her Papa. She did not pay her taxes on the money AND put herself into debt. (Are you thinking WTF right now?) So the relationship ended horribly and she tucked-tail and moved back to Chicago. She has always dealt with "emotional" issues and was drowning mentally, emotionally, and financially in Chicago. She was barely making it and the person she signed an apartment lease with, disappeared at the last minute.

G and I had talked awhile about helping Kate out, if she wanted the help. We knew she was struggling. We knew she had burned all of her bridges in California... and with her Nana and Papa... and we thought, we'll give her a chance. Her Nana and Papa warned us that living with Kate was a strain, even on their relationship (luckily, G and I felt the same way about Kate and her ways, so there weren't any disagreements). Her Grammy even said to me (regarding helping Kate out in the future) "I'm too old to deal with her shit." So, since Kate had burned every other bridge known to man kind, G offered to move her in with is.

Kate packed up her dog, her clothes, and her records (sold everything else) and moved in with us in our apartment in October of 2008. The agreement was that she would 1) get a full time job, 2) get a full time job with benefits, 3) save money (we said she could live rent free for October, November, December, and January), and 4) help herself. Can you guess how many of those things she manage to do in the eight months she lived with us. ZERO!!!

What did she manage to do while she lived with us? She managed to get a part-time job (wow, way to dream big at 26!!!) at the Apple store at the mall, let her dog piss all over our floor multiple times, let her dog chew up three rugs of mine from Pier 1, let her dog chew the cord to our brand new vacuum, not save anything, put herself more in debt, rack up medical bills, not register her car and get a ticket, not pay the ticket and get a court date, overdraw her checking account and let it get reported to Check Systems while she opened another one elsewhere, let collectors call our home line incessantly (so I left her cell phone number on our voicemail and called some of them back personally and gave them her number), get behind on her car payments, not clean her room or her bathroom, let me clean up her bathroom before my parents would come in to town to visit, sleep all day every chance she got, hide in her room when we were home, hide food in her room, eat shitty food, not work out, not be healthy, jump from one guy to the next that would give her attention, not pay her $300 rent for this month (we started charging her rent when our first mortgage payment was due in February), and blatantly lie to G's face about anything and everything.

I feel like I have a reason to be angry, and I am! I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I feel like we were used! And I feel especially bad for G because he actually thought he could help this helpless human being. Clearly, she doesn't want help, because she doesn't help herself and continues to be self destructive.

I feel bad for her current boyfriend (who G and I assume she's attached herself to). From what she's told us, he's a successful, self-sufficient human being. He owns his own business and works hard. I bet he doesn't know of all the skeletons in Kate's closet. I can't imagine living in a relationship with so much deceit... and no, this isn't "leaving out the details." This young man has no idea what the hell he's gotten himself into. I feel sorry for him actually.

I don't think Kate realizes that she has no one else. G has communicated to his Nana and Papa, Grammy and Grampy, Dad and Step-mom throughout the course of Kate's stay with us. They know that she's continuing to screw up her life and no one wants to help her anymore. Why the hell would anyone want to help someone that clearly has no desire to help them self? I mean, shoot, she was proud of herself when she was hired for a part-time job at the Apple store! Way to set goals... way to set goals...

It's just infuriating to me that she got up yesterday, told G that she just had errands to do on her day off, and when I get home, her shit is gone. She blatantly lied to his face. If she didn't think she was doing anything wrong, she could have just been honest with him. Instead, she decided to be a coward and lie... and just leave.

I know she felt that G gave her a hard time, but shoot, that's tough love. He doesn't want to see his only sister fail at life, although that's what she's doing. I don't know what's wrong with her... why she can't function like a normal human being. Why she surrounds herself with loser friends that do drugs and sell drugs. That feel like filing for bankruptcy is the answer to their financial problems and encouraging her to do the same. Who the hell does that? LOSERS. That's who.

I knew this was going to happen. I saw it coming a mile away from the time I knew Kate and G were going to be getting another (small) disbursement from their Papa. I knew as soon as she got that money and didn't need to mooch off of us, that she would take off. So predictable and so sad. She's such a selfish human being. She'll take what she can get and then when you happen to piss her off or she's done using you, she leaves. (FYI she got that damn check about a week ago... surprise, surprise. Her Papa didn't even want her to get it!)

Jimny Christmas! I have so many thoughts running through my mind right now. I'm so angry that I can't get them organized and into one post. I will have to write more as it comes to me... when I can sort through the bullshit.

Gah!

7 comments:

Tiffany June 25, 2009 at 10:44 AM  

Wow. That's just ridiculous. You guys tried so hard to help and she completely screwed you over. Well, as they say what goes around comes around. As soon as her money is gone (and it sounds like it won't last long with her), and her boyfriend dumps her, she's going to be stranded again. But with absolutely no one to bail her out this time. You guys did the right thing, and got screwed for it. But at least you guys tried! More than she can say!

Kelly June 25, 2009 at 10:46 AM  

You guys tried your hardest with her. If it were me she would have been out long ago. Your heart was in the right place and that's what matters. At least now you have your house back! Now you have to decide what you are going to do with the extra room.

Kel

Sandi June 25, 2009 at 11:10 AM  

I would say, "Be Done!" But she is family and it's hard to do that when she will around forever. I am so sorry you are dealing with this shit. Clean out her spot and don't let her back in.

C.J. June 25, 2009 at 2:13 PM  

I had a situation like that (not to this extreme though) with my own sister. However, as much as you may love her as part of your family, and as much as G loves her as a sister, you guys are not her Keeper. It's sad, yes, but realize that she's an adult and whatever irresponsible things she does is because she chose to do it. I think it's bull that she's hurting those that she loves though, and is using you guys to support her. I'm glad she's moved out... I just hope she gets her shit together, for the sake of you and the family.

Taralyn June 25, 2009 at 3:44 PM  

That's so annoying. But you know me, and of course I have to say something positive about this. Don't let her stupidity and lack of responsibility bring you down at all. Just be happy that she is gone. It's now in the past. Focus on your life and how great it will be to have your own house with G. Remember that this is the way she has chose to live her life. Albeit, it's not what you or G would have chosen, but it is what she chose. It's a sad helpless situation, but try to put it behind you. xo

Kristan June 25, 2009 at 9:00 PM  

Yowza. Don't really know what else to say... Except that I totally understand the need to vent all that. It's bad enough when someone wastes their life, but it's astoundingly awful when that person had so much potential (and help) to waste in the first place.

taylor June 26, 2009 at 6:43 AM  

Girl be glad she is gone and never do another thing for her. You have already gone above and beyond for her and she is so ungrateful!! keep your head up!