Dear USPS...

Dear US Postal Service,

You suck monkey balls!

Why did my dad send me a letter insured on December 16th and I still haven't received it?

Why is it sitting at my local post office? Hrm?

It was sent insured, not certified, not with a receipt of signature, so why in the hell wasn't it placed in my locked mailbox, or at the very least, why didn't I receive a note left in place of it?

Why?

Also - why hasn't the card from my aunt with my other gift card not arrived? Where is that one you stealing bastards?!

Would you like to reimburse her for your shoddy service and losing my card?

You're the US Postal Service for crap's sake! Can you get anything right, ever?


Sincerely,

your personal pissed off mail recipient